Truth be told I haven’t had a blog entry in over a YEAR. I’ve actually ran/hidden from the fact of even getting somewhat close to posting anything! Not that I was an avid blogger before..But still.
If you know me...You’d know I’m reserved for the most part. Not very emotional, and I have trouble expressing myself or talking about myself really?! Not to mention talking about my troubles, and worries! Not sure why I keep myself so distant from everyone and even myself, my problems at times?! It’s not a good quality to have!! The bible tells us to cast our burdens on the Lord. He also tells us to confide in one another. He tells us this for a reason..
Christians have duties.. Many duties! One of those is to BE there for our fellow Christian brothers and sisters! It’s a two way street, I should also want to share my feelings, faith and happiness to my fellow Christian friends as well, but if the bible stresses this so much, shouldn’t we also be willing to share our not so pretty moments.? What about our struggles, broken hearts, and our deepest needs?
Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can be whole and healed. The prayer of a person right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with. - James 5:16
Whether we praise him for his unfathomable majesty or petition him for daily needs, prayer is the expression of our dependence upon God, our whole-souled reliance upon his power to sustain us, his mercy to forgive us, and his glory to overwhelm us as we reflect on who he is.
A little over a year ago I was diagnosed with a crappy disease called Endometriosis and PCOS. WOW.. Did I ever think the following year would be this exhausting and draining dealing with what I thought was just gonna be a quick clean out and then I’d easily get pregnant and be done with it!! HA..Not at all was it, or has it been quick OR easy! Just goes to show you life is never how you think its going to be!
I’ve now began documenting every pill, surgery, appt, shot etc.. because I know one day I'll look back at it and think how much it was worth it.. today, this week, or even this month, I might not be thinking that so much. (Give me a break I’m trying)
Needless to say: 2 surgeries, 5 months of injections, months of fertility pills, and steroids later.. Im still fighting hard to be the Mommy I want OHH sooo bad to be!
A very comforting passage decided to pop up on my bible verse iphone app during my very first appointment at Nashville Fertility. It goes something like this.
Though the fig tree should not blossom and there be no fruit on the vines, Though the labor of the olive should fail and the fields produce no food, though the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, Yet I will exult in the Lord. I will rejoice in the God of my salvation. The Lord God is my strength, and he has made my feet like the deers feet, and makes me walk on my high places.
I continue to pull this passage out now and then to remind myself, even when everything seems to go horribly wrong it’s so important to stand fast in the Lord God and trust in him!
I’m going to promise myself to stick with this blog.. Mainly for my own escape. I know it's okay to share feelings, and even let people in on what is now trail, but what will someday be a lesson of strength and perseverance. This is just another day closer to the beautiful plan that God is molding for John and I. I'm just squirming to see it for myself :)
Thanks for taking the time to read :) I also want to say how grateful and encouraged I am by my sweet husband who has to deal with my crazy hormonal self everyday. He truly is my little hero, keeps me laughing and smiling even during some of the roughest days. My sweet Momma who has shed many tears right along side of me, because what Momma wants to see her daughter hurt? She has given me the most comfort and support this whole journey through! And let's be honest, we all know she is just as much ready to be 10 minutes down the road from her sweet grand babies! Thanks to all my family who have visited, called, and prayed for my well being in the last year! I've gotten so much love and support that it truly makes my heart smile! :) Love to you all!
On a very joyful note, my husband and I built the house of our dreams! A long post is in the future with many detailed pictures to come. We are in love with it, we never want to leave home! It's just so cozy!
